this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she peed on how many people?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
