I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I love you. Go after that dick
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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