I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
