I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
