Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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