Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
