I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
