marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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