..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
