I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
