It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
