He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
