So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
