so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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