if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
