I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
