Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
