Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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