Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
