There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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