I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
