He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
