This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
