i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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