i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
