their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
