i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
