No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
