I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
