You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
