I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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