dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
