I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
