oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
