Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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