thus making me awesome and them whores
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
