it was like his penis was on wheels.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
