So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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