Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
