And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
