Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
