You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
being pregnant is like rehab
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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