Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
