Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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