i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you inspire me to be a worse person
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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