why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
