I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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