Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
