My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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