honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
