Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
