I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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