yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
