I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
