I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
