he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
